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Asking For Prayer


I found you on youtube.  It really looks that we have entered the point of no return.  I am in CA.  And the church seems to be asleep here as far as I can tell.  I have been ill with autoimmune illnesses for over 25 years and  but really feeling a lot of anxiety since covid scamdemic.  I grew up in a very unsafe household.  I think the illnesses are rooted in PTSD.  Would like prayer to overcome in the last days.  I have been housebound and isolated for years and years.  I thought when this started in March I would have no problems since I have been housebound so long anyway.  However, the way people are being bullied and the killing of old people in nursing homes, etc.  And then the ignorance of what few friends I have I am spinning on the inside.  It is so crazy and I have not one person to discuss with and work my thoughts through.  Everyone believes something different.  I know we all see through a glass darkly but this is really frightening me.  I have always been a sold-out Christian.  I am afraid.  I grew up in abuse.  I was victimized.  And now to watch these authoritarian governments and to know how much evil they are rooted in I don't know if I could face it well and I am sick.  I am asking for prayers.  My mind has been affected by the illnesses and I have a hard time concentrating and remembering scripture like before.  I am thinking that when I refuse to take that vaccine they will cut the disability and I have nowhere to go.  Would you pray? If this is judgement for America, is that why people just will not see the truth even when you try to tell them?  I do see the antichrist at the door with the peace plan so-called being set up and the Noahide laws.  In Revelation, it says the fearful will not enter into heaven.  They are the first on the list.  When I was young I was ready to die for Christ and now that I am old and have been through so much suffering I seem to be losing my courage.  I need prayers for strength.   I would like to keep the prayer anonymous.  I needed to ask for help. I have been believing God for healing.  I thought when we got to this point and so close to judgement I was hoping to be with like-minded Christians in some kind of safe place.  I could not be in a more dangerous place.  I also have always had nightmares from my childhood.  I would like to request prayers for me to be protected in my dreams.  I know the scripture says God gives his beloved sleep but I don't think the wounds of my childhood have ever been healed and it is an open door somehow.  That is the only thing I can figure as I am not in sin.  Of course, I do realize fear and unbelief is sin.  I try to rest and trust but seeing it all come down is very unsettling.  I have no support.